The mysterious wizarding world of first class travel.

I have always wondered what goes on up there in first class. And we did get this pleasure once as a gift from and with friends, but that trip is like a dream in my memory. It still left me wondering what is it like for those people who saunter on up to the gate looking well rested ahead of all the rest of us?

Typically, when, I wait at the gate for my departure time I'm watching the weather channel on the ceiling TV from my crusty spot on the floor by the only outlet that was available for me to recharge my dead battery phone. I know at this same time those first classers are being fed grapes one by one as they relax in some secret lounge reserved for snooty rich people, movie stars or people with large business expense accounts. And I've pretty much decided in my head that all the women in the lounge have small dogs dressed in expensive and humiliating outfits sitting in their Prada handbags. If these woman have kids they are surely at a Swiss boarding school where they are instructed in the ways of the hoity toity. And of course we have been brainwashed into thinking surely none of "those" people can possibly be happy.

So I cashed in twenty years of my ff miles for this trip and one leg of it came up in the first class. I'm sure it was a mistake but I was also sure I wasn't going to change it. I was going to check this out for myself. What did I discover? Yup, there is a secret world up there behind the magic curtain. Even before you get on the plane you go to a holding room. A room full of quiet, free food, drink and a "mom" who picks up your trash and tells you when to go to your gate. Then on the plane the fantasy world continues and it contains lots of what appears to be "real" food, drink, actual silverware, personal toiletry kits, new socks, clean bathrooms, politeness along with gobs and gobs of legroom and overhead compartments. And it appears those in charge of our environment will tolerate just about anything from people up there at the front of the plane except perhaps "words with friends" or so I hear. Being up front also let's you see the pilot who frequently shares The use of your bathroom and in our case appeared to be at the age where he should have been old enough to get his drivers permit.

Yea

A menu for your five course meal and drink choices.

Lots of legroom, appetizers and food.

Cute little shoe bags to hang them up your shoes. No stinky feet if you are up here in first class.

Shrimp stuffed with peeled grapefruit on guacamole sauce.

Equivalent to coach's "peanuts" or "would you like to buy Oreos for eight dollars or Pringles for ten."

Barbie shower caps, or hairnets ( must have been from everyone's favorite Barbie doll, Foodservice Barbie.....I guess she never really was a big seller) for your headphones. Of course.

And real silverware, real plates, real napkins and high tea type pretty desserts. I wish I could say it was no big deal.......but it was nice. Real nice. And when I'm back in steerage three days from now I will go to my head and remind myself how those poor sad people in first class wish they were in coach with the rest of us "happy" people. I' know I will find comfort in that.

On a side note, after being questioned routinely ( yea by wifey me) about his "photographers" travel vest.... Especially when it almost caused an international incident. P told me, "fine, i will put it aside" and then added, " i will be replacing it with two fanny packs. "